I feel like I’m stuck in the same pattern at work … no matter where I go.

I’m an analyst, and a big part of my job is writing reports. Every time I get assigned something, I want to do a good job. I care deeply about the quality of my work. I want it to be clear, thoughtful, and solid - the kind of report that won’t get picked apart in review.

But that also means I agonize over every word.

What should take a reasonable amount of time ends up taking much longer. I rewrite. I second-guess. I tweak things most people probably wouldn’t even notice. I feel like I’m just being responsible, but if I’m honest, I’m probably overworking it.

I pour more and more effort in…
and eventually, I burn out.

Once that happens, I start avoiding the work. I feel behind, even if no one has said anything yet. I don’t feel like I can reach out to anyone. I keep trying to fix it on my own.

When deadlines come up, I panic.

I blame myself for not handling it better. I tell myself I should be able to manage this by now. And what’s hardest is that this pattern keeps showing up, even when I change jobs. So it’s hard not to wonder if the problem is just me.

I don’t know how to get out of this loop.
And I’m exhausted from carrying it.

Love,
Stuck in the Same Loop

First of all, there is nothing wrong with you.

What you’re describing isn’t a personal flaw. It’s a pattern. And we all have them.

I like to call these patterns rabbit holes.

A rabbit hole usually starts with a trigger - a task, a comment, a moment of pressure - and then our nervous system takes over. We cope the way we’ve learned to cope. That coping strategy works for a while… until it doesn’t.

Here’s what your rabbit hole sounds like:

A task lands on your plate →
you over-effort because you care →
you burn out →
you avoid →
you blame yourself.

Someone else’s rabbit hole might look different.

For example, they receive criticism at work and suddenly they start second-guessing themselves. One comment turns into a spiral. Their confidence dips, not just at work, but in other areas of their life too. They replay conversations, question their abilities, and quietly shrink.

Different rabbit hole.
Same mechanism.

Once you see your rabbit hole clearly, something important shifts.

You stop asking, “What’s wrong with me?”
And you start asking, “What guardrails do I need?”

Think of these as bumpers, not rules.
They’re not about doing more … they’re about stopping the spiral earlier.

1. Time-box the work that triggers perfectionism

For tasks you’re avoiding because you know you’ll overdo them, set a timer for 20–25 minutes (this is the Pomodoro method).
Work until the timer ends.
Stop when it stops.

Whatever you get done is enough for that round. Momentum builds from starting, not finishing.

2. Decide “good enough” before you start

Not every report needs to be perfect.

Sometimes the goal is a first draft that’s good enough and done, something complete you can share if asked. You can always go back and tweak, refine, polish or completely redo later.

If you don’t define this upfront, your brain will default to maximum effort every time.

3. Communicate earlier and simpler

You don’t need to explain everything you’re feeling.

Sometimes it looks like:
“I’m juggling a few deadlines and want to confirm priorities.”
“I can do X by Friday or Y by Monday, which matters more?”

And sometimes it means committing to part of the work by a timeframe that’s actually reasonable for you - an outline, a first pass, or a specific section - and continuing to refine from there.

Clarity creates relief. For you and for others.

Note: These are just examples. The right guardrails are the ones that actually fit your role, your workload, and your nervous system … you get to decide what works for you.

Underneath this loop is often a deeper belief - that your worth is tied to how well you perform.

So when work feels hard, it doesn’t just feel inconvenient.
It feels personal.

That’s not something to fix overnight. And it’s not something you have to untangle alone.

Continuing to talk with a qualified professional can help you get to the root of this and slowly separate who you are from how much you produce or what you do.

That work isn’t a failure.
It’s care.

Awareness doesn’t fix everything,
but it gives you choice.

You don’t need to become a different person to get out of this loop.

You just need to recognize your rabbit hole
and build guardrails before it pulls you all the way in.

🌿 Reset Moments

📓 Journal Prompt
What pattern do I notice right before I burn out and what might help me interrupt it earlier?

✨ Tiny Ritual
Pause and smell something soft and familiar — rose oil, lotion, tea.
Let that be the cue to slow down.

🌸 Gentle Reminder
You don’t need to earn rest by burning out first.

See you next week. And remember - you can always start over.

❤️ Reset Theory

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