My Shortcut to Connection

With everything going on in the world — and everything going on in our own lives — it can feel harder than ever to really connect. Especially with a partner or significant other. Schedules get busy, evenings slip away, and sometimes people just aren’t used to opening up.

One thing I love to do is ask about the peak and pit of the day. (Yes, I heard it first on The Kardashians - my reality TV binge days 🙈 Say what you will about them, but this one stuck with me!)

Here’s why I keep coming back to it:

• It helps me understand what mattered most in the other person’s day — the highlight and the hard part.

• It immediately opens up conversation, and gives me a chance to ask deeper questions like, “Why was that so great?” or “What’s happening there?”

• It helps both of us share without feeling like we’re unloading a laundry list of stress.

• It balances things out by naming the good moments too — and helps me practice gratitude when I might otherwise only focus on what went wrong.

The other day, my own check-in looked like this:

🟢 Peak
Getting really into what I was working on — creating slides that broke down a complex technical concept in a way that was easy to understand. My husband even added some cool insight and connected it to what I love doing in my personal life. (Work is rarely my peak, so this surprised me!)

🔴 Pit
Sharing with him how something someone close to us said/did had been sitting heavy with me. It didn’t feel great — it crossed a boundary. But naming it out loud gave me space to process, instead of carrying it alone.

Over time, I’ve even learned more about myself by noticing which moments I choose as my own peaks and pits. It’s like a mini check-in on what really matters to me right now.

🌿 Reset Moment

Here are a few ways you can try this yourself:

📖 Journal Prompt
Write down your peak and pit of the day before bed. Notice patterns. Are your peaks tied to people, creativity, or rest? Are your pits tied to boundaries, overextension, or something else?

🎧 On Repeat
“Sweet Disposition” by The Temper Trap — nostalgic, expansive, and a reminder that life holds both the highs and lows.

🕯️ Tiny Ritual
Try sharing peaks/pits over dinner, or while you and your partner brush your teeth before bed. No phones, no multitasking — just two minutes of presence.

☕ Tiny Joy
A warm drink in hand (tea, hot chocolate, even a latte) makes the ritual feel softer and more intentional.

See you next week. And remember — you can always start over.

💌 Forward this to someone you’d love to share your peak and pit with tonight.

🫶
Bina

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